Craziest Florida Man Headlines: The Reason for the Meme’s
Reasons for Florida Man Memes
Florida man memes have gained massive amounts of popularity in the past 5-10 years or so. There certainly are a lot of weird stories that come out of this state, so there is actually some merit to this stigma in a sense. In this article you will see some of the weirdest and most ridiculous Florida man headlines and stories that there are to see. Let’s get going and look at our first Florida man headline.
The Brown Town Bandit
Maybe this headline should have been #2 on the list. A man named Wilton Thomas found out the hard way that no one is safe in Florida. Wilton was at work when he saw on his house cameras that a green car had pulled up into his driveway. A man promptly stepped out of this green car, dropped his pants around his ankles, and coiled rope right in the middle of his driveway. He made preparations by taking off his shirt so he could wipe when he was done, but this seemed to be all the man was worried about. Once he was done with his business he finished up with his shirt and left everything right where it landed. He stepped back into his car and drove away.
There was an entire CCTV recording of this occurrence and thus the availability for news coverage was ample. Headlines were made and puns of all kinds ensued. Wilton actually had to clean up the result on his own and the local sheriff’s department is currently looking for the poopetrator.
Accidental Action Movie Stuntman
In Fort Myers Florida a man was caught on camera falling off of the roof of a building into the parking lot. What broke his fall was the top of a car parked in an unlucky parking spot. The man fell incredibly hard and even smacked the back of his head on the metal of the cars roof.
The car was parked in a parking spot on location at a dealership, making the owners of the car the attempted sellers of the car as well. The owners of the car were unaware of this until they returned saw their vehicle and witnessed the massive indentation on the roof of their vehicle. Once they found this huge dent on the top of their car, they went to the cameras to find out what had happened. What they saw when they looked on the cameras was a vicious fall from a man that was seemingly coming from right out of the sky. Just like an action movie, the man had apparently fell from the roof of the dealership onto the top of the car. He simply slid off of the car and walked away as if he didn’t just perform his possible last act on earth.
I Scream for Equality
It doesn’t always have to be a man in Florida apparently. In Indian Shores Florida a worker at the business named Lu Lu’s Ice Cream and Candy Shop was caught urinating into and spitting into a container that she used to make ice cream for costumers. The police were involved and the shop itself was closed due to the actions of the worker. The culprit was apprehended and charged with her crimes. The authorities passed on information that indicated 5 different times in which she did this at minimum that they were able to prove. This means that she had not only done this once, but it was a regular event to urinate and spit into the container that held ice-cream for customers.
The ”Caring Citizen”
A man in Florida called 911 stating that he had successfully evaded capture from a law enforcement officer. He goes on to say, during the call, that he has “passed at least 4 cops so far”. The man asks the 911 operator why citizens pay cops for what they do, implying that he was able to escape capture and they were supposed to catch him and do their job better. He gives the operator his location during the phone call and time frames needed for further information and incrimination.
Who calls 911 to ask the operator why they haven’t been pulled over yet? He stated how he believed they had gotten the description of his car as well as the license plate information. He also said how he had been randomly driving around for around an hour and had passed several cars. Was he upset that he was not caught and was looking forward to jail? Florida has some of the weirdest people in the world, and that is coming from someone that lives there.
G.I. Pappy
An elderly grandfather in Florida stood toe to toe against an alligator in order to protect his dog and keep it safe from danger. The alligator had gotten a hold of his golden retriever and was looking to make the pet his next meal while the dog was going to the bathroom. The alligator was nearly 8 feet long and outweighed the dog by a great deal as well. The man proceeded to run over and grab his dog and played a sort of tug of war with man’s best friend in the middle. The man finally won the fight when he decided to deliver a swift kick to the nose of the gator. This was enough to free the dog from the grips of the alligators jaws and both man and dog were able to retreat back into the house.
Is that a Rocket in Your Pocket?
A Florida man from St. Augustine was found to have had a grenade launcher in a Pennsylvania airport on his way back to the Orlando airport. The explosive on the end of the grenade launcher was only a replica and was not a real weapon, but it was still not allowed on the plane or in the airport. The TSA confiscated it and he was released, able to finish his trip home.
Why would someone, anyone, expect to be ok going through TSA at an airport with a replica rocket launcher in their luggage? That doesn’t compute with me, but maybe some other Florida men may find that to be a good idea.
Recap
You have seen some of the more odd and wild Florida man headlines in this article, and now probably have a few less brain cells because of it. You should take this information and feel better about yourself and where you live, because some of these were a little but too much. From pooping on peoples driveways randomly to kicking alligators in the face, Florida has it all and then some. You still want to visit us for the weather this winter?
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this article! : )